FUNNY! Hope I Won't Be Like THEM!

---------------------------------------------------------------------



These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts by Charles M. Sevilla, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying impassive while these exchanges were actually taking place.

>

>

> ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

> WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'

> ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

> WITNESS: My name is Susan!

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _____

>

> ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

> WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _____

>

> ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

> WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _____

>

> ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

> WITNESS: Yes.

> ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

> WITNESS: I forget..

> ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ ____

>

> ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

> WITNESS: We both do.

> ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

> WITNESS: We do.

> ATTORNEY: You do?

> WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _____

>

> ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he

> doesn't know about it until the next morning?

> WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

> ____________ _________ _________ ______

>

> ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year- old, how old is he?

> WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ ____

>

> ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

> WITNESS: Are you shitting me?

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ __

>

> ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

> WITNESS: Yes.

> ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

> WITNESS: Getting laid.

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _____

>

> ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

> WITNESS: Yes.

> ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

> WITNESS: None.

> ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

> WITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new

> attorney?

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _____

>

> ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

> WITNESS: By death..

> ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

> WITNESS: Take a guess.

>

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _____

>

> ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

> WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

> ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

> WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.

> ____________ _________ _________ _______

>

> ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition

> notice which I sent to your attorney?

> WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

> ____________ _________ _________ ________

>

> ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead

> people?

> WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ __

>

> ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

> WITNESS: Oral.

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ __

>

> ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

> WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

> ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

> WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished..

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _____

>

> ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

> WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

> ____________ _________ _________ ________

>

> And the best for last:

>

> ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a

> pulse?

> WITNESS: No.

> ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

> WITNESS: No.

> ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

> WITNESS: No.

> ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began

> the autopsy?

> WITNESS: No..

> ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

> WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

> ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

> WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and

practicing law.

Well I received this thru e-mail and even though I am not feeling alright on that time, it did made me feel good! I was laughing!!! The main reason that I put this on my boom blog is because I am planning to be a lawyer! And I...I do hope I wont be saying this things in court! Nyahaha!!!



So Jam's Exclamation Point of View...
on this e-mail about lawyers...
Yikes!

BYE BYE - Words Before I DIE!

Mariah Carey
Bye Bye (Akon & Lil Wayne Remix)

(Mariah Carey and Akon):
This is for my people's
Who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby
Your man, or your lady
Put your hands way up high
(Put 'em way up high)
We will never say bye
Never, no, no
(Never say goodbye)
Momma's, daddies, sistas
Friends and cousins
(Yeah)
This is for my people's
Who lost they grandmothers
(Yeeeeaaahh)
Lift ya hands to the sky
(Lift 'em way up high),
'Cause we will never say bye
(Never say goodbye)

(Akon):
I know, I know you're gone
I know i'll see you again
One thing that I can promise
That we gon' meet up again
Hopefully up in heaven
Prayin' that i'm forgiven
For everything that i've done
And everything
I forgot to mention
If feel so bad
To be without my homie
And every since
You've been absent
I've been so lonely
Why does our life cycle
Round like a trophy
Even though know somebody
Took the time to warn me
That you just keep me
'Til the end it's just crazy
And everyday i'm wishin' you
Could come save me
And I know a man
Ain't supposed to cry
It's taken all the strength
In my soul to say goodbye

(Mariah Carey/Chorus):
Bye, bye (22x)

(Mariah Carey):
And you never got the chance
To see how good i've done
And you never got to see me
Back at number one
I wish that you were here
To celebrate together
I wish that we could spend
The holidays together
I remember when you used
To tuck me in at night
With the teddy bear
You gave to me
That I held so tight
I thought you
Were so strong
That you can make it
Through whatever
It's so hard
To accept the fact
You're gone forever
I never knew
I could hurt like this
And everyday
Life goes on like
I wish I could talk to you
For awhile
I wish I could find a way
Try not to cry
As time goes by
And soon as you reach
A better place
Still
I'll give the whole world
To see your face
And I'm right here
Next to you
It feels
Like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do
Is say bye, bye

(Mariah Carey/Chorus):
Bye, bye (22x)

(Lil' Wayne):
How come
They call it goodbye?
How come the good die?
See I just get high
And think of the good times
That I had with my pops
He was a good guy
How come the good die?
As i protect my mother
'Cause i'm her oldest son
And there
Are different worlds
And we in the coldest one
Which one did granny go to?
And why do death come?
As my baby ask
Where do babies come from
I tell her where
I tell her why
And I tell her I love her
Until I tell her bye
And whenever
I shall ever die
I hope you celebrate it
I hope you never hated
And they say heaven's gated
But I think I know the code
And let's get your life right
By the end of the road
That's why I drive alone
Down memory lane
So if I crash
I hope ya'll
Remember Wayne

(Mariah Carey/Chorus):
I never knew
I could hurt like this
And everyday
Life goes on like
I wish I could talk to you
For awhile
I wish I could find a way
Try not to cry
As time goes by
And soon as you reach
A better place
Still
I'll give the whole world
To see your face
And I'm right here
Next to you
It feels
Like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do
Is say bye, bye

Bye, bye (22x)

It's hard to say
Bye, bye, bye, bye
So come on
Somebody say it with me
Wave ya hands up high
'Cause this is for my people's
Who just lost somebody
See this is for everybody
Just lift ya hands to the sky
'Cause we will never say bye, bye

I loved Mariah's songs. Bye Bye was one of my favorite and one that I always listen to maybe around last year until now. But one time, when I was on my way home riding a jeep, just recently, I heard this song again. But my ears tingled upon hearing Akon's signature second voice! Haha! "Ei Ei". Sort of like that!

I was all ears! I have heard many remixes where hip hop artists add raps and other parts to the song. Some made it bad...but mostly made it better! And this remix was definitely better! I was LSSed!

And I have searched in Youtube and found its lyrics! While listening, I was reading the words. I honestly felt the message of the song down to the core of my heart! Completely...indescribable! Back on the jeepney, I loved Akon's part but not Lil Wayne's monotonous singing. But when I was able to read and understand Wayne's part...damn! I wanted to broadcast it! I wrote them as a shoutout in Friendster, Facebook, Tweeter and even on text messages coz it was related to my personal motto about my life: LIVE LIFE WITH A BOOM! I was so touched by the song! And now, I am blogging it!

Here is that part...

And whenever
I shall ever die
I hope you celebrate it
I hope you never hated
And they say heaven's gated
But I think I know the code
And let's get your life right
By the end of the road
That's why I drive alone
'TIL EVERYTHING'S DONE
So if I crash
I hope ya'll
Remember JAM!

Well I edited it! Haha! I wanted to make it somehow personalized! Make it rhyme. Do you get me? Can you see the message of this song? Glorious isn't it?! Well I see a LIGHT whenever I hear this song! I feel the warmth the artists wanted me to feel. No, I am not exagerating! This is true!

So this part, if I have to explain, tells about one certain thing, the very thing...the very gift I most willingly accepted and enjoyed coming from God...is LIFE! I have said it to to previous blog entries that I make it to point that I live my life to the fullest! I love my life! But life will...and always has its limit! You are never young all the time. There will come a time where, I have to quote, you have to say BYE BYE! Goodbye to all: the family, friends, and to your life itself! I have a mission to accomplish in life when death wants to hug me and take me...I should hug back without hesitations because I have no regrets!

That's what the essence of life is all about right? It's an achievement to die prepared! So how to be prepared? Live your life with a boom like I do! To the extreme! Exclamation point beybe! Everything you do...put an exclamation point to it not a dull and boring 'period'. When I die, I want people to be satisfied. Not mourn. I want them to be happy that I die prepared. And that I die as their friend...not an enemy with grudges and hatred. Being able to die loving the people surrounding you and you being loved by them is such a big relief isn't it?!

Heaven's waiting for me...I dont know when exactly. I just know He does. So let this blog entry be my confirmation to everyone that I am on a journey to my death! Dont take it wrongly...I dont want to die! No one does! But its an inevitable truth! We all have to die! Join my adventure! Make your own! Let's have a joyride! If all of us would do the same, IMAGINE!

Wow! I love this song! I have said it many many times coz I really do! I love my LIFE!


So JAM's Exclamation Point of View...
on the remix version of BYE BYE...
Live life with a BOOM!